There’s something to be said for coming in first. While people remember who won a given race, ask them who came in second and they’ll either have to think about it for a minute or else admit they don’t know. When it comes to sports, the gold medal might as well be everything and second place, as the saying goes, is nothing more than the first loser. Yeah, first place is pretty darn awesome. That said, there are times when it might be better to come in second, or even third. And after the release of F1 Pole Position 64 on the Nintendo 64 today in 1997, gamers were in agreement. In this case, being first to the checkered flag was nothing to write home about.

F1 Pole Position 64 promised a hell of a lot: twenty-two authentic drives from the Formula 1 stable; weather elements which can spring up at any time to change the track’s condition; sixteen different courses; fully-customizable Formula One cars; radio chatter from your own pit crew. But perhaps the biggest promise it made came right off the back of the box: “Experience the most accurate 3D racing simulation available on the N64!” And Human Entertainment strove to deliver on this promise. But a cursory look at the end product reveals a stunning flaw, one so sinfully obvious that people should have lost jobs over it. Ubisoft published a home console racing title with no multiplayer capabilities whatsoever. And this, no matter what other nifty features like semi-automatic shifting and patches of rain and fog are included, is completely unforgivable.

Look, we understand making a racing game isn’t easy, especially when you’re stuck to the limitations imposed on you by Nintendo’s choice of cartridge format in the late 90s. But please, by all means, show us any successful racing game in the post-16-bit era that lacked a two-player feature? F1 Pole Position 64‘s decision to ignore this vital aspect of gaming doomed this title to a black flag long before the last lap. US racing fans interested in Formula 1 action on the N64 were completely ignored, as this was the only title on offer. European gamers at least got F1 Racing Championship. Three years later.

Meanwhile the PlayStation offered a whole slew of F1 titles for gamers to pick from. First out of the gate isn’t all that impressive if you’re the only one in the race, but it’s contemptible if you have no competition and still wind up unable to complete the circuit. Human, Ubisoft: you have no one to blame here but yourselves.

Michael Crisman

In 1979, Michael Crisman was mauled by a radioactive Gorgar pinball machine. After the wounds healed, doctors discovered his DNA had been re-coded. No longer fully human, Michael requires regular infusions of video games in order to continue living among you. If you see him, he can see you. Make no sudden moves, but instead bribe him with old issues of computer and video game magazines or a mint-in-box copy of Dragon Warrior IV.


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